Kai411's Xanga

This suckkkks

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 01:56:05 GMT

Just when I thought that I'm all mellowed out about college and all that, I get all panicked again.

The whole point of going to Lincolnland at first is so that I don't have to worry about this for two more years, but where I transfer for the next two is going to make the biggest difference about grad school.

I don't know what I want to do! Medical genetics or forensics. Medical genetics or forensics. Does it really matter? I mean, I'm going all the way to Ph.D. right? So, it shouldn't matter what bachelor degree I get, right? I should have just gone to University of Illinois and not worry about it, is what I should have done. UICU is a worldclass school, and I was accepted, and I should have gone. It's, like, ranked 26th in the world! Out of the millions of universities in the world, it's ranked 26th! And they wanted me to go there! Why the fuck did I turn them down?

But noooo! Somehow I managed to get suckered into going to a community college for my first two years. I mean, UIUC is a great school. And what if I didn't get into a good grad school because I didn't go to a four-year university? WHAT ABOUT THAT?

Klutz

Sun, 17 May 2009 21:49:52 GMT

Well, what do you know? I'm the world's biggest klutz. I somehow managed to fall down half a flight of stairs at school 8 school days before graduation. It sucks. My foot is all bruised and I can't walk or drive or anything.

Well...what can I say

Thu, 14 May 2009 18:14:08 GMT

Only I can manage to fall down half a flight of stairs.

Kind of invalid right now. Right foot --my pedal foot-- is swollen like you wouldn't believe.

I guess I won't be driving for a while. And I'll probably need crutches.

And a ride to school.

And a ride home.

Caps and Gowns

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 03:41:41 GMT

Woot! So excited! We finally got our caps and gowns yesterday. They're this unattractive shade of purple, but it's okay, because graduation is heree! I just want out of herreee.

Also, if anyone's curious:

My plans have changed. I am now going to start off at a community college. Then I'm going to transfer to UIC to double major in anthropology and biology. It'll be great.

Also, here's a picture that I took for class a while back that I never, until now, got the permission to put up:

Pretty good, eh? I'm going to be taking someone's senior photos tomorrow, so I'm super excited!

Another thing, I understand that high school graduation is really important to some people, but please don't make such a big deal out of it. This whole drama revolving the senior class slide show is getting ridiculous. Please don't complain that no one took initiative and then, when people take initiative, ignore them and "change it back to the way we had it anyways". It shouldn't be a personal project, it's a class slide show, so it should be a collaborative project. Also, when people with prior experiences with digital images suggests that it is best to save pictures as Jpegs, please realize that they say so with reason. Tiff files are a pain in the rear, because a lot of programs won't open them. Don't complain about how stupid computers are when it was an operator's stupidity that caused your problem. You were shown how to save the files correctly as Jpegs, if you decided that it was "hard, this is stupid, Queenie, I'm not going to do it like this," then it's your problem when you want to access it later and can't. Please don't make your problems any one elses' problem. Your stupidity caused a lot of people pain and time. It takes time to convert 60 pictures manually into Jpeg. If you don't know crap about pictures, then don't pretend that you do, and let someone else do it. It makes it efficient. So take heed!

And the senior graduation song. Why is it such a big deal which song we sing at graduation? It's a song! It's going to be only 3-4 minutes long, and we will probably have forgotten it in three days. Things don't always have to be the most beneficial to you. It's the class of 2009's graduation, so the class should chose, not just one person. It goes with the majority, it's America, it's democracy, get used to it. Don't take a day that is supposed to be wonderful, and make it bad because you can't be mature about things. Don't say things like, "If we're choosing that song, then I'm not going to sing," because that's selfish. Graduation is not only about you, it's about the class. Quite frankly, if you don't want to sing, then don't, it's not as if it will make a big difference. The choir is minuscule to begin with.

And I agree with the director for not choosing "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts for the graduation song. Goodness, choose something with a bit more class. Either way, you can't please everybody with a song, so I think the director should just pick one and make us sing it.

So dramatic, honestly, grow up.

Palm Pre

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 03:25:55 GMT

I am super excited about the Palm Pre.

The interface is amazing. I mean auh-mazing! I can't wait for it to come out. It's only available through Sprint the first year, but I figure there's probably someone on Ebay that's going to sell a GMS version of the phone.

Um... yeah. Ever notice that I only ever make posts when I'm excited about future purchases?

New Phone!

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 23:13:22 GMT

Woot! Woot!

I finally got my new phone:

I really like the organisation tools on this phone. The keypad will take a while to get used to, and the stylus is kind of cheap. The OS is user friendly. The interface is a lot easier than the BlackJack II, but the BackJack II offers a lot more things. This one was free. So, what the hell right?

Another thing: I'm out of text messages until my next billing cycle! So don't text mee!

A STROKE OF BRILLIANCE

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 01:36:15 GMT

Okay! Okay! A brilliant thought occured to me while I was in the bath.

My school goes on this trip called CloseUp Washington D.C. It's a nation wide trip. So I was thinking that all the people I know whose school offers this trip (especially from Guam, yo) should go on this trip. Granted it's nearly 1400 BUT we can have a reunion is the capital of the country! Yeah? Yeah? It's costing me 1800 and I'm going. going. gone.

SO, if your school offers this trip, you'd betta be gettin' yo asses on that plane! Because I'll find out if you don't!

http://www.closeup.org/

PLEASE?

It'll be worthwhile! We'll explore D.C. together! Go to Arlington cemetery! And... and...!

JUST GO!

New CD's

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 02:26:16 GMT

I bought two CD's today:

Rockferry by Duffy
Life for Rent by Dido

I wanted to get Viva la Vida by Coldplay too, but I decided that two might be enough for today.

Notice a trend here?

Yes, all British artist!

Um... I also bought a new watch today.

That's all.

Wow...August

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 20:11:41 GMT

It's been nearly one month since I last updated. School started on the 19th, and it has been insane ever since. I don't think I have had more than 6 hours of sleep since school started.

My senior year schedule:

Computer Graphis | Economics
English IV College Prep
Anatomy & Physiology
Spanish IV
Resource Management | Chorus
Adv. Math
P.E.
Physics

(Classes after | are second semester changes)

I'm dying here. Absolutely dying. I have had homework from every class, every day, and still have to manage my job. It's not to mention, I'm also involved in the following:

National Honor Society (Co-president)
Family, Career, and Community Leaders of America (Vice President)
Yearbook (Head Photographer [and maybe editor])
Worldwide Youth in Science and Engineering (Varsity member)
Science Olympiad
Spanish Club

-dies- I should probably quit one of those activities if I plan to get any sleep this year, eh? But there's nearly no way to back out of them. And Serge, yes, love, you're right. Computer graphics bores the hell out of me.

Oh, major change in life here:

I have decided to change my college plans. I am to major in journalism, not pre-medicine. I have decided that I don't have the stuff in me to become a doctor. It's also the fact that doctors are fairly rooted in their communities forever. I can't stand that. I enjoy traveling and being out there... and well... doctors are generally inside. I want to write articles about the world--human interest stories--and take my own pictures. It's what I enjoy doing best, photographing and writing. And I've decided that no matter how much I wish to be a successful doctor to please my parents, to please myself, to save lives... I have to do what makes me happy. I don't know whether or not I'll be happy being a journalist, but I know I'll be happier being out there doing the things I love best.

Oh-Fucking-Kay

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 01:39:41 GMT

Today, we had a office birthday party thing. We had Chinese food.

Maybe I'm just particularly irritated lately. Maybe I'm being extra sensative, but whoever said that there are no stupid questions and encourages them, is, in fact, stupid.

Colleague: Do you like Chinese food?

Hello! I'm Chinese. I lived in China. I grew up eating Chinese food. How or why would I dislike Chinese food? Is this a rhetorical question?

Second, thing:

Colleague: How did you find out about this restaurant?
Me: I went up to a Chinese couple and asked.
Colleague: That's racial profiling.
Second colleague: Yes, it is.

Shut the fuck up. Sorry, but I've had enough of this, alright? Every fucking day, I have to deal with other people being racist towards me, and when I say something that is completely innocent, I'm the racist one?

What the fuck?

First of all, we're looking for a Chinese restaurant. So, why the hell would I ask a Caucasian couple this question? Why? Would they know where I can get the best pig feet dish in town? How about the best beancurd dish? Or the best ma-po-tofu? The best dim-sum? They've never even heard of these things! I live in a place where people thinks that sushii is Chinese, how exactly would they help?

Second, it's only racial profiling if you are small enough to look at it that way. I don't think it is. I find it comforting to realize that there are others out there like me, who understands my traditions and expressions without having my explaining them. I find it comforting that, in a country so far from home, I can find people, who like myself, is trying something different--who, while attempting at a new life, hasn't completely abandoned their old one. In the cornfields of central Illinois, we have approximately, less than 2000 Asians... over a thousand mile span of land. Half of these are college students who travel back and forth as school starts and ends. Meeting another Asian and approaching them isn't pointing them out...it's almost like meeting a lost cousin. Someone who you didn't have to pretend to be someone else for, because they understood. They speak your language, and you can let your guard down because you understand the same jokes and the same customs. Because then, it confirms, and you know that you're not the only one dealing with the shit that Americans give you every day for being yellow or red or whatever the fuck else.

If someone had come up to me and asked me where a good Chinese restaurant was, I wouldn't think they were racially profiling me. My fucking god, tourist do it all the time in Guam. Is that racial profiling? How about when Japanese people come up to me because I look Japanese and speaks Japanese to me, looking for directions? Is that racial profiling? No, I tell you, it is not! It's asking someone who could possibly communicate with you for fucking directions!

Things like racial profiling is completely utter bullshit. We're different, so-fucking-what? I'm proud of the Chinese that I am. People should be proud of their culture. If they're going to get insulted by my asking them where a good Chinese restaurant is because they look Chinese, then they need to live in a fucking box. Because you are what you are. You are who you are, you oughtn't be ashamed of yourself no matter how fucking different you are from the rest of everyone else. I'm the only Chinese in my school, but so-fucking-what? What difference does it make that I celebrate different holidays or that I have black hair? Do I still have a heart? Bladder? Kidneys? I still have all those things, if people can't fucking tell skin colours from personalities, then they should fucking quit.

The world isn't pillow-padded, sadly. Saying things like "you're racial profiling" is trying to pacify others, to not make them feel bad. Because telling them the truth, like "you're Chinese", would be an awful, awful thing.

There are things that are going to make you feel like shit. The world isn't about making people feel good about themselves. It's about dealing with life and getting the most of it.

So to all you pacifiers out there, who are all wishy-washy about making people feel bad:

Get a grip on yourself. Better to tell them now, and have them realize the fact sooner rather than later. All this pillow-padding isn't preparing them for future failures. You're setting them up for an even higher fall when they realize it themselves.